happy comes from inside

I think happy living at home means building our homes as a reflection of who we are rather then letting our homes and everything that is in them define us.  Do we not let enough stuff around us define us already?  Why add our homes to the mix? 

A friend mentioned to me about not letting a person in her life define who she is.  And I started really thinking about that.  As independent as I may feel at times, I still think of myself in the context of my surroundings including the people in my life, my house, my car, my job or career, the places I go.  But when it comes down to it are we not better served by going back to the basics?  Should we not define ourselves first simply as women or men (and all the complexities that come with that!), part of mankind, creative and emotional beings.  Then we add the layer of the roles that we take on as wife or husband, mother or father, daughter or son, friend, companion.  Even within those roles I think one can lose oneself and let the other person's perception of who we are define us instead of making those decisions for ourselves.  That is an important struggle though.  We should not however struggle with advertising or TV or celebrities or bloggers for that matter who tells us what we should be or buy or what kinds of things we should have in our homes.  That is not worth our time. 

This is all a bit further into 'sociology' than I wanted to go and I think there are more qualified people out there who could shed more light into it than I.  I find that life in general gets more full everyday and every year.  In that vein it is hard for me to ignore the impact that my home has on that fullness and how I can pare down and live more authentically.  The biggest compliment that anyone has ever given me about my home is that they feel comfortable in it and enjoy being there.  If I judge my home based on that, I AM FINISHED, am I not?  What more could I do to it?  Will another coat of paint perfect it?  If I removed the blah taupe carpet and outdated wallpaper border in my dining room would it make it more comfortable?  Maybe, maybe not.  I think the people in my life would feel the same about me as a person regardless of how my dining room is decorated.

I am a designer at heart in every way.  I will never stop appreciating great design and beautiful things (and sharing them with you!), but I hope that I can more often look at it all for the beauty of the creativity behind it.  I will never stop decorating my home but I hope that I can look at it more as a continual process of reflecting myself onto it and not the other way around.  It could all go up in flames in an instant.  I would not want to stand in front of a pile of ashes thinking that everything that defined me is a pile of smoke and ash.

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